Healing from the Hurt of Someone Still in Your Life

“I miss the person that I hoped you’d be, but I forgive and let go of the person that you are.”

Healing from the pain caused by someone who is still present in your life is one of the most profound challenges we face. It’s not like grieving someone who has passed, where closure feels more tangible. Instead, it’s a journey of accepting who they truly are, releasing the expectations you once held, and making peace with the reality that they may never be who you imagined.

In these moments, a mantra can serve as an anchor, helping us navigate the waves of emotions with grace and strength. Here’s a new mantra to hold close: “I release you from the story I wrote; I set myself free to write my own.”

This mantra acknowledges the narratives we build around people — the hopes, the “could be’s,” and the versions of them that exist only in our hearts. By releasing this story, we free ourselves from the cycle of disappointment and open the door to our own healing.

1. Acknowledge the Grief

Grieving someone who’s still alive is real. It’s mourning the dreams, the words left unsaid, the love that wasn’t returned in the way you needed. Allow yourself to feel this grief without judgment. Journal about it, meditate on it, or speak it out loud. Healing starts with acknowledging what hurts.

2. Embrace the Truth of Who They Are

Acceptance doesn’t mean approving of someone’s actions; it means seeing them clearly without the filter of your expectations. Breathe into the reality of who they are today, even if it hurts. This clarity helps dissolve illusions and prevents you from reopening old wounds.

3. Forgive for Your Freedom, Not Theirs

Forgiveness is often misunderstood. It’s not about condoning behavior but about releasing the hold that resentment has on your heart. When you forgive, you choose freedom — you let go of the weight that keeps you tied to the past. Repeat the mantra: “I release you from the story I wrote; I set myself free to write my own.”

4. Reclaim Your Power

When we place our happiness in how others act or don’t act, we hand over our power. Bring it back by focusing on your own growth and self-love practices. Dance, meditate, create, or spend time in nature. Rebuild the parts of you that were chipped away by hurt.

5. Redefine Your Boundaries

Healing doesn’t always mean keeping someone in your life. Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do for yourself is to establish new boundaries. Whether that means less contact or a complete break, honor what feels right for your soul.

6. Cultivate Compassion for Yourself

Be gentle with yourself through this process. Healing isn’t linear. There will be days when memories flood back and the pain feels fresh. On those days, breathe deeply, place a hand over your heart, and whisper: “I am allowed to feel this, and I am allowed to heal.”

The Path Forward

Healing from the pain caused by someone still in your life is a radical act of self-love. It’s reclaiming your narrative and choosing peace over suffering. Remember, you are not alone on this journey. Keep repeating the mantra when the memories resurface:

“I release you from the story I wrote; I set myself free to write my own.”

With time, patience, and self-compassion, the hurt will transform into wisdom, and you will find yourself standing stronger and more free than ever before.